Letter of Goodbye (and I hope this is the last)

I know
you had had been my sunshine
you had had been my inspiration
and my spirit to go through my problem
I know you realized it. Yet, you just didn't say.

I know
I had ever been your special
ever been your first person in your heart
and my name had ever been whispered by you in your night prayer
You know I realized it. Yet, I just didn't say

Whether this is your fault or mine, I don't care
Because I just felt the hurt in the end
You left me with thousands unanswered question
questions about me to you, about you to me
which confusing me, burdening me
and make me weak.

I hate becoming weak
the worse, i hate seeing myself becoming weaker when I see you
in time I saw you with her, I said to myself:
okay, here is the answer

I thought i was free
I forgot you, I didn't care with you anymore, and I tried to ignore all wild idea about wishing you end your relationship with her and go to me again.
and I am successful.

Now, you're not my sunshine
you're neither my spirit nor inspiration
I remain you as my brother

I now have my own sunshine
maybe you can implicitly say, He's not even better than you.
Yeah, from academic, physical, and respect from others, you win
but at least, he never lets me wait too long, he is so clear in stated his feeling, he never lets myself hurt, and he respects my freedom-characteristic.

so please, behave in front of us, and let me free.
and last, if you try to say anything to me
never say it implicitly
it isn't because I would never understand
I just appreciate more for someone who brave enough to say what's in his mind directly to me

I never hate you, even in my wildest dream, I never ever try to hate you
I just....let say I am dissapointed with you
and I never try to forget you, never try to forget all things I've done with you filled my days
I just let it go
because I'm too afraid to be left, again

I now have my own way, which I've choosed and decided it wisely
Please appreciate my choice
and let me walk in my own path
You have your own path, and I never try to distract you until now
so just do the same to me.

hope this will become the last letter.

Goodbye.